Carolyn and Mikol here.
We hope all of you are well and that the Moms out there will enjoy your special day. Happy Mother’s Day to each of you!
As for our aging moms, here’s a reminder about a persistent and growing $2.9 billion a year problem.
Our aging loved ones are targets. The thieves are extremely good at stealing. They see our parents are an easy mark, If you will be visiting or calling your mom on this Mother’s Day, think about these things and keep Mom close to your heart. Aging moms and dads too need our vigilant protection, no matter how independent they seem.
Imagine this:
Two ruthless swindlers were arrested in New York for tricking an elderly woman out of her multimillion-dollar property in Harlem she had owned for over 40 years.
A home care worker bilked a frail elder out of her life’s savings of $350,000. Grandchildren get loans from grandparents without any intention of repaying them. Unethical salesmen touting unsuitable annuities seduce unsuspecting elders. A few scheming realtors take advantage of forgetful seniors. Even lawyers prey on unsuspecting or impaired elders to rip them off.
Mikol’s mom, Alice, is 89 and still very sharp. Someone tried to rip her off by sending her a legitimate looking check for $3800, advising that she was the second place winner of a sweepstakes. She does play various sweepstakes. All she had to do, of course, was to deposit it and “pay the taxes” on her “winnings”. Of course the check is rubber and the money is gone before the elder finds out that it has bounced.
Classic scam. Alice called the number and quickly realized that it was a phony outfit. Not everyone’s aging parent is lucky enough to be so alert to this kind of fraud.
What we know from research into Alzheimer’s Disease is that one’s judgment about financial transactions may be the first thing to become impaired when the disease is in the earliest stages. “Mild cognitive impairment” as doctors may call it, is not so mild when you think about the financial damage that can result. And the elder with this early warning sign of dementia may be living independently, paying taxes on time and otherwise appearing socially normal. For a time.
Vulnerable elders are truly sitting ducks, easy prey. Isolation, confusion, forgetfulness, and fears about running out of money can all drive the susceptibility to entering into a “deal” with a clever scammer.
Here are seven basic things a family can do to reduce the risks of ripoff. Pick any that apply and please do them!
1. Check in often. If your aging parent lives alone this is crucial. One of my clients at AgingParents.com emails her dad every day to check in. Others call every day or close to it. They may not think they need this but they do.
2. Ask to be a co-signer on the main bank account in case of emergency. Some aging parents will agree and some will resist but ask regardless. It will allow you to do online monitoring of the account activity. A “new friend” who gets money from them is a huge red flag.
3. Have your parent sign a Durable Power of Attorney appointing a competent and ethical agent, which could be you, a sibling or trusted other. If cognitive decline happens, the agent can at least get the money out of the account and put into another safer one that the impaired elder can’t access. This is one way to stop the thieves who are looking for impaired elders. Nothing in the account, no gain for them.
4. Suggest having your parent use a licensed fiduciary to handle money if they don’t want you to do it. If there are issues of not trusting you, an objective professional can protect them from abuse. You might do research to find a reputable one for them.
5. Provide and encourage parents’ connection to others. Think of isolation and loneliness as two big factors in why elders get financially abused. If you can provide encouragement for them to get involved in activities, it will make them less likely to want to talk to a smooth, slick “friendly” con artist on the phone.
6. Monitor everyone who comes into your parents’ home regularly. Even the most trusted housekeeper, gardener, caregiver or bookkeeper can be tempted beyond reason when their own financial circumstances change for the worse. Your parents are all the more at risk when they trust the familiar person, who can use trust to exploit unsuspecting parents.
7. Do background checks on any home care helpers who are hired to work for Mom or Dad. The cost is modest, and you can find out a lot: bankruptcies, poor driving records, and of course, criminal convictions and civil cases.
We urge everyone to think about the risks to our aging parents. Your parent may seem fine, but be susceptible to poor money judgment. If the question of whether your elder is safe with money is on your mind, call us for a consultation. Our expertise will help you manage whatever is ahead of you.
If the decision-making is making you crazy and you don’t know where to turn, consider getting a free complimentary strategy session at AgingParents.com. It’s a start.
Meanwhile, we both send you our best.
Until next time,
Carolyn Rosenblatt and Mikol Davis,
Aging Parents.com
The Tough Question: Move In With Your Aging Parent?
We hope you are enjoying the beginning of spring and this time of renewal. Mikol and I have recently moved our offices to new, brighter and better space and we’re feeling very renewed! Wouldn’t you agree that there is nothing like disposing of junk and unwanted items to give you that free feeling?
So, here’s a situation to share with some of you who may be wondering about your own aging parents.
It comes up here a lot at AgingParents.com. This could be you!
Victoria has had a struggle with deciding how to best care for her Dad, 86. She moved him from his home to assisted living, but she’s beginning to think that was a mistake.
Over the last six months, there have been numerous errors at the assisted living facility. Dad is spending $7500 a month there. First they got his medication mixed up and created a mess. Then, they sent Dad to the wrong doctor. Finally, Dad fell and they called 911, but “forgot” to tell the paramedics about the fall. He went to the emergency room for what was reported as “the flu”.
They’re supposed to check him out all over and take x-rays. As the ER folks didn’t know about a fall, they did none of that. He was released. It was lucky he had no fractures. They would have missed them entirely.
Now she is asking herself: should I move in with him and take care of him myself, with helpers at his home? When dad was cared for at home before, she didn’t live nearby. Now, she has moved back to dad’s home area.
Victoria is tired of getting upset with the assisted living staff. Frustration is at the breaking point.
The main reason Victoria moved dad to assisted living was for socialization. That’s not working. He spends a lot of time in his room alone.
Now she needs to look within. Is she willing to undertake the daunting task of caring for dad as his dementia advances and he may become more of a behavior problem? Will caregivers at home solve the problem, or will he be still too isolated there, even if she is with him in the evenings?
At AgingParents.com, we come across this question often.The concept of assisted living works very well for some people, particularly those who are able and willing to interact with others. It can facilitate friendships, offer activities, balanced meals and transportation to various things like doctor’s appointments. We went over the pros and cons with Victoria. One option was to try a different assisted living facility.
But, things can go wrong at assisted living too. There is no direct nursing care, even if a nurse is on staff to supervise the caregivers. The assisted living facility license does not permit “nursing care” from its employees. Perhaps Victoria’s dad needs more care than he is getting there. If Victoria is available to supervise the at-home caregivers on a daily basis, she can be assured of what is going on and she can stop the mistakes the facility keeps making.
After two sessions and a lot of discussion, Victoria did decide to move dad back to his house and to hire caregivers through an agency to care for him during the day. She’ll move back into his house with her husband and supervise the care. We advised her to supplement his care with adult day services, which will be a place to go for social connections, activities and some meals. The total cost for the caregivers at home and adult day services is about the same as assisted living, but Victoria will have much more control.
If this scenario could be about you and your aging parent, consider how Victoria is getting through it. She tried her options. She sought professional advice when one option did not work. She has been careful in considering the personal price of caring for dad herself. She is supplementing her home care plans with using adult day services to get dad out of the house every week. She is at peace with her choice.
We say, kudos to Victoria. She is working at the job of caring for aging parents in a very intelligent and well thought out way. We wish for you the same peace of mind, whether you move a parent in with you, choose a care facility, or some combination of help.
If the decision-making is making you crazy and you don’t know where to turn, consider getting a free complimentary strategy session at AgingParents.com. It’s a start.
Meanwhile, we both send you our best.
Until next time,
Carolyn Rosenblatt and Mikol Davis,
Aging Parents.com
Countries need to think about how fewer young people can continue to support the elderly.
Where in the USA Do Men Live the Longest?
Hello again.
Carolyn and Mikol here.
We hope that spring has brightened your life in some way, as it has ours.
I was struck by a recent article in our local news, the Independent Journal.
It noted that a recent study by the Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation, a health research center at the University of Washington, Seattle, surveyed county-by-county estimates of life expectancy in the U.S. between 1989 and 2009.
The county with the highest life expectancy for men also has the second highest life expectancy for women.
I was happy to learn that these great longevity statistics are for our own Marin County, CA.
Life expectancy rates for men here in Marin County are 81.6 years, and for women 85.1 years. These life expectancy numbers are contrasted with the lowest in the US, which is in Quitman and Tunica counties in Mississippi at only 66.1 years for men.
The head of the research team at U of W, Dr. Ali Mokdad says it’s because most residents don’t smoke, aren’t obese, are physically active and eat a healthy diet. He’s right.
Here in Marin, smoking is relatively rare, and is banned in public places. The smoking ban has been successful and people are healthier.
As for exercise, it helps to have spectacular views, bike paths, walking trails and a lot of preserved open space. It’s a philosophy here, though. There’s a consciousness about exercise which borders on devotion for some. On the first warm sunny day of April, Mikol was on his bike and every road popular with cyclists was mobbed. Here’s his view (VIDEO).
Walking paths were thick with folks of all ages strolling and jogging. I was doing my part among them in my second season of triathlon training. Marin has a higher than average number of regular exercisers.
There is a vast variety of fresh, organically grown vegetables and fruits here, as we are close to the source. Farmer’s markets are well attended in every tiny city this county has, every day of the week. You don’t see a lot of seniors lining up for the fast food restaurants.
Not only do we have great life expectancy here, we also have a larger percentage of seniors than almost any other county in the state. We have more people living a healthy lifestyle as they age. They are a great example to everyone.
What’s the takeaway?
If you want to enjoy longevity and feel better as you age, the basics your doctor tells you are the key. There is no secret. Don’t smoke, keep your weight in check, exercise regularly and eat what’s good for you. When we hear that aging well is only 30% determined by our genetic makeup and the other 70% is determined by our lifestyle, aging persons in Marin, CA are living that lifestyle.
Do any exercise at all that you like and will commit to making a regular thing. Even if it’s a walk around the block or around the track. All you need are appropriate shoes and the determination to do it. I encourage each person reading this to be inspired a little by our impressive longevity stats. Do what the healthiest folks are doing and you can count yourself among them. That, our friends, is the joy of life.
Until next time,
Carolyn Rosenblatt
AgingParents.com
AgingParents.com is an organization founded by Carolyn Rosenblatt, RN, Attorney and Dr. Mikol Davis, psychologist, to provide coaching and consulting programs for those who are having difficulty with aging loved ones or clients. We address issues about loss of financial capacity, family conflicts and other matters of aging. We serve financial service professionals, families, caregivers and those in the elder services industry.
If you have worries about someone you know with memory loss, or someone who is making unsafe decisions, we offer you the expertise of over 75 years of combined experience in nursing, legal practice and psychology.
Getting rebuffed hurts.
Have you ever tried to talk to your aging parent about finances and been told to take a hike?
“Just mind your own business. I’ll be fine”.
Or has your aging parent ever said, “Let’s talk about that some other time” when you bring up the subject of money and the future? Of course the some other time never comes.
Some parents clam up, change the subject and otherwise put off having a conversation when their adult kids raise it.
What are they afraid of?
According to what I’ve learned at AgingParents.com from asking directly is that some aging parents are afraid of losing their independence and control. They are afraid of being put in a home if they lose control over their money. It is frightening to bring up something that they believe may lead to loss. They are Depression era survivors. If you talk about money you could lose everything.
Their thinking seems to be that if they can avoid talking about it, they can avoid the things they fear.
When visiting my 89 year old mother in law Alice, recently, my husband, Mikol and I talked to her and her friends about why people won’t discuss finances. Alice is very open and wants Mikol’s help in managing her finances. But many of her friends are not so open. We went out to dinner with some of them and asked them their thoughts on the secrecy around money in their age group.
Here’s what they said are the top reasons why elders don’t want to disclose what they have and don’t want to talk about it with their adult kids.
“If the parents have a lot of assets, they are afraid that their kids will lose motivation to work if they know about how much their parents are worth.”
“If their kids know how much they have, some parents are afraid their kids will pressure them to give the kids money as gifts, or more than they want to give as gifts and it will be unpleasant or confrontational.”
They are afraid that “if their kids know what they’ve got that the kids will take advantage of their parents, or try to get control over the money as the parents get older” and less able to fend for themselves.
Are aging parents’ fears realistic as described here? Perhaps. There is no doubt that in some families we see at AgingParents.com, the “vulture syndrome” does exist. Some ruthless adult kids are circling, relatively speaking, waiting for a parent to pass so they can inherit. Fortunately, I don’t observe that to be a majority of adult children I see.
Perhaps in some families, kids will pressure their parents for money or try to take advantage of them. After all, financial elder abuse is a $3.2 billion dollar a year problem. Most abuse is committed by families. However, these risks are not a good reason to avoid discussion of finances.
If you are a responsible adult child with parents who are getting older and less capable than they once were, it is definitely time to get past their resistance about the subject of money and the future. There’s one good reason for this. If you don’t do it, you may have it all come down on your head when a crisis hits.
Imagine your parent with a stroke, unable to speak. Or your parent falls and is unconscious for a time. If you don’t even know what bank Mom uses, or where the accounts are, how useful are you going to be? Someone still has to pay the bills when your parent is incapacitated. If they bank online and you don’t have the passwords, you won’t be able to do much.
So, the tips for the day are:
1. Insist that your parent speak with you about finances because it’s for your sake. They would be putting a huge burden on you if anything went wrong with their health and you had no information.
2. Find out what they have, where it is, how to get to it, and what it would take to manage finances for them in the event of an emergency.
3. Find out if they have done any planning for long term care in the event that they could not manage without help at home. If they have done no planning, this is a good reason to seek an appointment with their financial advisor post haste.
4. If you have siblings or other relatives who are involved with your parents, call a family meeting. Think it through and talk it through about what you’ll do if a parent suddenly loses independence. It can happen to anyone.
It’s a bit like disaster preparedness: we are all likely to fare better if we have a plan about how to take care of ourselves.
If this hits home for you, consider a date for you to take the first step and get it on your calendar. If you feel lost and confused, help is available to everyone, no matter where you are. Your Area Agency on Aging is a place to locate sources of help.
Until next time,
Carolyn Rosenblatt
AgingParents.com
Carolyn and Mikol here.
Hey we wanted to reach out to you and invite you to an exciting upcoming Webinar.
Get your questions answered related to the financial and emotional cost of getting old or caring for your aging parents.
5 ways your parents’ getting old could cost you a fortune.
Click this link to sign up for our FREE Webinar.
Date: April 24, 2012
Time: 6:00pm Pacific Standard Time
Duration: 30 minute presentation, 15 minute question and answers
LEARN:
1. Most common mistakes people make about Medicare and caring for your aging parent
2. Why your parents’ failure to plan can come back to bite you.
3. What you are and are not obligated to do for aging parents who run out of money.
4. How you can be in serious trouble if you fail to have that all important conversation with your aging parents.
5. Five things you can do now to ensure your own peace of mind about your aging parents’ future.
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Attendees will have a chance to ask us questions.
-
Take charge of your aging by learning critical information.
-
Be better prepared to step-up and take responsibility when the time comes.
-
As bonus to attending the 45 minute Webinar, you will be offered the opportunity to get a free complimentary strategy session at AgingParents.com. Please join us.
Meanwhile, we both send you our best!
Carolyn Rosenblatt and Mikol Davis,
Aging Parents.com
Please share your stories………
Hello again. Carolyn and Mikol here.
We hope you are enjoying the beginning of spring and this time of renewal. Mikol and I have recently moved our offices to new, brighter and better space and we’re feeling very renewed! Wouldn’t you agree that there is nothing like disposing of junk and unwanted items to give you that free feeling?
So, here’s a situation to share with some of you who may be wondering about your own aging parents.
It comes up here a lot at AgingParents.com. This could be you!
Victoria has had a struggle with deciding how to best care for her Dad, 86. She moved him from his home to assisted living, but she’s beginning to think that was a mistake.
Over the last six months, there have been numerous errors at the assisted living facility. Dad is spending $7500 a month there. First they got his medication mixed up and created a mess. Then, they sent Dad to the wrong doctor. Finally, Dad fell and they called 911, but “forgot” to tell the paramedics about the fall. He went to the emergency room for what was reported as “the flu”.
They’re supposed to check him out all over and take x-rays. As the ER folks didn’t know about a fall, they did none of that. He was released. It was lucky he had no fractures. They would have missed them entirely.
Now she is asking herself: should I move in with him and take care of him myself, with helpers at his home? When dad was cared for at home before, she didn’t live nearby. Now, she has moved back to dad’s home area.
Victoria is tired of getting upset with the assisted living staff. Frustration is at the breaking point.
The main reason Victoria moved dad to assisted living was for socialization. That’s not working. He spends a lot of time in his room alone.
Now she needs to look within. Is she willing to undertake the daunting task of caring for dad as his dementia advances and he may become more of a behavior problem? Will caregivers at home solve the problem, or will he be still too isolated there, even if she is with him in the evenings?
At AgingParents.com, we come across this question often.The concept of assisted living works very well for some people, particularly those who are able and willing to interact with others. It can facilitate friendships, offer activities, balanced meals and transportation to various things like doctor’s appointments. We went over the pros and cons with Victoria. One option was to try a different assisted living facility.
But, things can go wrong at assisted living too. There is no direct nursing care, even if a nurse is on staff to supervise the caregivers. The assisted living facility license does not permit “nursing care” from its employees. Perhaps Victoria’s dad needs more care than he is getting there. If Victoria is available to supervise the at-home caregivers on a daily basis, she can be assured of what is going on and she can stop the mistakes the facility keeps making.
After two sessions and a lot of discussion, Victoria did decide to move dad back to his house and to hire caregivers through an agency to care for him during the day. She’ll move back into his house with her husband and supervise the care. We advised her to supplement his care with adult day services, which will be a place to go for social connections, activities and some meals. The total cost for the caregivers at home and adult day services is about the same as assisted living, but Victoria will have much more control.
If this scenario could be about you and your aging parent, consider how Victoria is getting through it. She tried her options. She sought professional advice when one option did not work. She has been careful in considering the personal price of caring for dad herself. She is supplementing her home care plans with using adult day services to get dad out of the house every week. She is at peace with her choice.
We say, kudos to Victoria. She is working at the job of caring for aging parents in a very intelligent and well thought out way. We wish for you the same peace of mind, whether you move a parent in with you, choose a care facility, or some combination of help.
If the decision-making is making you crazy and you don’t know where to turn, consider getting a FREE complimentary strategy session at AgingParents.com. It’s a start.
Meanwhile, we both send you our best.
Until next time,
Carolyn Rosenblatt and Mikol Davis,
AgingParents.com
Carolyn and Mikol here.
We just got in an alert from the The National Legal Resource Center (NLRC) and we wanted to share it with you.
Can you believe this? Professional criminals are now targeting people with diabetes to scam them for personal information.
Here’s how it works. Someone pretending to be from the government, a diabetes association, or from Medicare calls the diabetic person, offering “free” diabetic supplies. As you know if you have a diabetic among your family or friends, the disease involves a lot of supplies. They include test strips, glucose meters, lancets to prick the skin to do blood sugar testing and other commonly used items.
The NLRC notice describes that the caller may also offer other items, such as heating pads or foot orthotics, in exchange for the person’s Medicare or financial information. Because the cost of these often needed supplies is burdensome for many, the temptation to get them for “free” may induce the diabetic to hand out the private information the caller wants to grab.
The diabetic may start getting things in the mail he or she never ordered. All the supplies are charged to Medicare using the duped person’s Medicare number. Because the person is actually a diabetic and uses supplies, the fraud may be hard to detect. It is not as if a million dollars of fake billing has taken place. However, the fraudster now has the individual’s private information, sometimes financial information. The individual is susceptible to many other kinds of fraud and theft.
The Department of Health and Human Services, Office of the Inspector General, advises you about what to do if you or your aging parent gets one of these suspicious scammer calls.
Do not provide your Medicare number or other personal information to anyone over the phone when they call with an “offer”. Medicare and other legitimate agencies for diabetics do not call to solicit sales of supplies. Warn your aging parent not to hand this private information out.
Report the call. The Office of the Inspector General has a hotline at 1-800-HHS-TIPS. Scam calls can also be reported online at www.OIG.HHS.gov/fraud/hotline. They advise in their fraud alert notice that you need to provide the name of the company that called you, their phone number and address and what they offered you.
Check Your Medicare Summary Notice and Billing.
Look for charges for items you did not order or did not receive. Look for duplicate billings for items you only ordered once, and other irregular charges. Report any suspicious billing to the hotline or online.
Refuse Items You Did Not Order if a delivery service or the post office tries to deliver them, particularly if your signature is required. You don’t have to accept a suspicious order. If it was left with your mail, you can return it to the sender. Before you do, note the sender’s name and address and report it.
As Medicare fraud is a huge problem and one that is difficult to control, it is up to us to keep it in check at an individual level. Being aware of the latest scams helps. If your aging loved one is cognitively impaired, has memory loss, or just has trouble keeping track of things, you, the adult child can step in and do some checking on the Medicare billing yourself. If you live far away, that task can be delegated to paid others you can put in place, such as fiduciaries, care managers or bookkeeping services.
If we all do a little more watching, we can stop more thieves of our tax dollars.
Meanwhile, we wish you well in your own journey with aging loved ones. If you have a problem and you need help, remember that you can get a complimentary strategy session with us. Click on
Until next time,
Carolyn Rosenblatt & Dr. Mikol Davis
Aging Parents.com
We all remember the Beatles song lyrics “will you still need me, will you still feed me when I’m 64?”
Well, having just passed that milestone in my life, I am remembering what I thought about being 64 years old, viewed through youth’s prism. It sounded really far away. It definitely sounded “old”.
Now that I’m here, it doesn’t sound old at all, of course.
When is it that we become “old”?
Is it when we give up trying new things? When we lose our interest in anything different from what we are used to seeing or doing? Is it when our bodies rebel and refuse to do what we want them to do?
I am not sure I know what it is, exactly, to feel “old”. I look at my kids in their 20′s and they look very young indeed. Compared with them, I’m already old. But then, I’m a specialist in the aging field and I know what happens if we just allow ourselves to slide into aging with no effort to maintain what we have both physically and mentally. Compared with a lot of other people my age, I’m rather young.
I’ve settled on the self-descriptor “middle aged”. Sounds a lot better, don’t you think?
I yield to the reality that age does affect me and that in many ways I have to be more careful. If the stairs are very steep and I’m carrying something, I go one step at a time. I hold onto the rail, too. Falls are the scourge of aging in so many ways. On the other hand, I started the day on my birthday with a 3 mile run. No pain, no impairment of my movements. I’m signing up for the second year of triathlon training with a coach. I began my venture into the three-sport events last year. I do the shortest kind they have, and it’s fine. There aren’t too many of us in the 60+ age group doing these events. They must be too old.
I have to have my reading glasses to see the printed word. I have trouble learning the latest technology. I don’t know why kids punch holes in their faces and put rings and assorted other metal into them. I don’t like tattoos. Maybe those opinions make me old.
No matter what my level of fitness, there are things that sag and bag on my body. I wouldn’t look terrific in a bikini even if I had the nerve to wear one. It’s not about being skinny enough. It’s that bikinis are not for old people.
On the other hand, I take no medications, I work hard at eating a very healthy diet and avoiding excess. My weight is healthy. There’s a brand of jeans that say they’re not your daughter’s. I am in fact wearing a pair of castoff jeans that did belong to my daughter once. They fit just fine. I shop in the juniors’ department. Usually you can’t do that if you’re “old”.
Turning 64 has its benefits. In a year, my health insurance will be Medicare and it will cost a lot less than I’m now paying. After all, if you’re over 60, you’re supposed to be taking several medications and have conditions that justify the insurer charging an arm and a leg for the monthly premiums. I don’t fit the mold, and I pay senior’s premium prices because I’m forced to do so. They don’t care if my lab work is all normal and go to the doctor but once a year. People my age are a risk. (Please keep Medicare so I can get it. I’ve waited a long time.)
Another benefit of being this age is that I don’t care about a lot of things that used to bother me. At one time I would’t go out without wearing high heels. I’m 5 foot one inch and I cared a lot about looking taller. Now that I’m “old”, I don’t give a damn. Flat shoes feel just fine. OK, a little heel, maybe. There are lots of things like that. I’ve let them go, shedding them with the confidence that being on this earth for 64 years has brought. I’m short. I have crow’s feet. I don’t look like a young person. I’m dealing with it.
So, for those who may share my middle aged status, no matter where on the spectrum you find yourself, celebrate it. We’re lots smarter than we used to be. We can continue to grow healthier if we’re willing to work at it more. We have been around the block and there is no substitute for living and learning from all of our mistakes. If it’s mind over matter, I say, think young. And love the age you are.
Till we meet again,
Carolyn Rosenblatt
AgingParents.com
Dr. Mikol Davis, founder of AgingParents.com, describes his personal story of the emotional battle of dealing with the hospital and honoring his father last wishes.
Dr. Mikol Davis, founder of AgingParens.com, discusses the emotional challenges of “pulling the plug,” with his 89 year old father (more…)
