Millions of Americans are caring for an aging or disabled loved one at home. You do what you must to honor your loved one. But what about YOU? And all that empty advice about “take care of yourself”? Who has time for that? And what does taking care of yourself really mean anyway?
The Smallest Things Do Count
In James Cleary’s book, Atomic Habits, he discusses making incremental changes, a little at a time. That can be connected to the otherwise somewhat useless advice people tell you about self-care for you, the caregiver. Are you too tired to even think about that? Let’s imagine you are under constant stress and exhausted by caregiving responsibilities most of the time. Perhaps you have a job and must keep that going, and you have kids at home still. They call you The Sandwich Generation. That means you have obligations to an aging loved one as well as your own family. The pressure never lets up. How can you possibly fit in anything that is going to be just for you?
Brevity
I suggest picking something really brief. Maybe it’s listening to a guided meditation as you fall into bed. I like the app Calm, and there are others to choose from too. On it, Jay Shetty offers a 7-8 minute listen, with 2 or 3 minutes of meditation, which I do in bed. You don’t have to know how to meditate. You don’t have to sit cross legged on the floor or upright in a chair as a lot of meditation teachers tell you to do. Never mind that for busy folks. Just fit it in at bedtime, however late that may be. 7 minutes or so is small, and it does count in helping you free your mind from the incessant stress of caregiving. It helps you relax and combat stress.
Why It Matters
If you just forge on, taking no time for you, with all the responsibilities of your life as a parent, caregiver, and sometimes both for long periods, it can have a very serious effect on your own health. If that breaks down, you are no good to anyone else. So, the “take care of yourself” advice can make more sense when you build a little time into your day for even a brief meditation. That is indeed self-care. It is for your mental and emotional well-being. There are a lot of other little things you can do, too, and we’ll visit them in other pieces as we move ahead in our steps for caregivers series.
In The Meantime
Never give up hope that you will get through this difficult time and you can still be intact. That will take some planning and effort on your part. And it can be done. No matter how many obligations you have now, it is possible for you to do better at managing your time and all of it. We at AgingParents.com are here to guide you with advice, tips and strategies.
Our unique nurse-lawyer, psychologist team at AgingParents.com can help guide you on your path with the many tangled legal, healthcare, financial and family dynamics issues you face. Reach us for a 10-minute introductory call to see if our services are a fit for you, short term or longer. Call 866-962-4464. Feel more confident!
