Mikol’s Mom, Alice is turning 91 this month. She’s been widowed for four years. She gets lonely. Where does a woman at this age meet a guy?
There are not so many single men around at her age, and she was telling us about her frustration with that. We thought Alice ought to give online dating a try. She had a lot of trouble putting her description into the dating site. We helped her. I couldn’t get my mind around putting in her real age. Ok, I lied. I asked her how old she wanted to be. She said to take off ten years or so. So, she’s “78.” She looks great, takes good care of herself and keeps her weight in line, so we can get away with that.
Well, did it work? Were there any guys worth meeting in her, um, age group?
Like most online dating we’ve heard about, there are mixed reviews. When she first tried this out, there were no good men in the lot, even with the fudging on age. Bet they weren’t truthful about it either. She did go out with some of them. She was annoyed, then bummed. Alice’s take; “A loser is a loser at any age”. Well said, Alice.
Time passed. Nothing. Then, all of a sudden, two interesting looking older gents contacted her. These fellows have the ultimate attractive quality in an older man these days: they drive at night! (Alice doesn’t). That opens up the possibilities considerably. So, it works like this: Older folks seem to use the internet dating site without a lot of online chatter between them. Maybe they aren’t used to typing what they want to say as much as younger people. Eventually, a brief phone conversation ensues. If she likes him on the phone, a date is made for lunch. They guy then has to find his way to where Alice lives or she meets him at a restaurant. It’s kind of a test. One fellow from her online dating experience couldn’t even find her house, despite her clear directions. She scratched him off the list immediately.
At this age, they all have some health problems. But some exercise and are fit. One of her dates was only interested in only one thing and was rather insistent. (Some things never change). Alice isn’t looking for sex. So, scratch that one off the list, too. She wants companionship and a friend to go to movies and dinner with her. It’s not asking too much, but it’s slim pickins when you’re up there in years.( Maybe that’s true regardless of age). In any event, there were two decent prospects.
So her whirlwind of two dates in one week has happened. She liked both of the men. One had to drive for almost two hours to meet her. They spent the afternoon together after lunch and she had a wonderful time. He’s off on a trip for now and she’ll be on one after that, but the interest seems to be there for both when they return.
For the older dating set, good conversation is fundamental. No texting. No messages on Facebook. No “likes”. They just talk and then they see if they like each other face to face. Makes sense, doesn’t it?
Alice is like a lot of other widows in the world. She’d like some male companionship. She wants someone who is doing at least as well as she is doing. She needs to find someone with whom she has a few interests in common. She’d rather be by herself than waste time with a loser or a guy who really only wants a “nurse with a purse”. We like her attitude. She never gives up. She’s game to keep on trying, even when she has had some bad experiences. Any single person could learn a few things from Alice, bless her.
We’ll all be together celebrating her 91th later this month. We’ll keep you posted about the dating. We’d love to see her holding hands with someone again.
Until next time,
Mikol Davis and Carolyn Rosenblatt,