Mom, 87, suffers from memory loss. She looks well, is fiercely independent, and wants to live alone. 
Her doctor saw her a year ago and said she should not live alone and should not be driving. Mom thinks she can do both. She came to another state to visit her daughter, who is also her power of attorney. Daughter, “Anita” was shocked to see how much mom’s memory had declined. She has to watch her mom day and night ever since she arrived. Meanwhile, other siblings, scattered across various states, don’t want daughter to “put Mom in a home”. They’re angry with Anita. What should Anita do?
Anita has the authority, because she is Mom’s power of attorney, to consult a doctor to get an evaluation of Mom that is current. With enough information, Anita can get recommendations about the best living situation for Mom. Anita has a disability and can’t care for Mom by herself. Neither can her other siblings. She will likely have to choose a memory care facility (assisted living) for Mom near her home, so that she can visit Mom and see the Mom has all she needs. Mom has dementia. It will continue to get worse, and Anita now must do the planning to be sure Mom can pay for the memory care facility. It’s an unhappy situation, but Mom will be cared for well and the place is bright, has a garden, many activities, and a program plan for others who also have memory loss. Anita is making the best of a difficult situation for all her family. As power of attorney, she has the right to choose to sell Mom’s house to pay for the cost of living in the facility. It turned out to be the best solution.
Tags: dementia, memory care, memory care facility, memory loss, power of attorney