I am fighting with my brother about caring for mom. What can I do?
Many families experience conflict over what to do for an aging loved one.
Some fight over who is doing the most work. Some argue and criticize the
choices and work one sibling is doing for an aging parent. Others are in a
constant state of disagreement over where their elder should live, or who
should take care of the elder. All of these areas of conflict can be
successfully addressed. If the family is unable to resolve their own disputes
by talking them over in the family, it may be time to consider an outside
source of help: elder mediation. This is a process in which people who have
a dispute choose an outside neutral person to work with them to air their
differences and make a guided effort towards agreements. The parties sit
down with the mediatior, who is a trained professional, to negotiate
solutions to the problems that are causing distress among them.
Sometimes, the process only takes two or three hours. If there are mulitple
issues, the parties to dispute, may need to have two or more sessions with
the mediator. The mediator does not tell the parties what to do, or decide
the solutions for them. Rather, a mediator helps people to see things from
a different point of view, and to reach their own negotiated agreements.
Mediation can save untold grief and stress, and can prevent things from
boiling over into lawsuits and destructive actions by one family member
against another. At AgingParents.com, we work as co-mediators to
help familes in dispute. We can also help you to find a mediator in your area.