Some of our Congressional leaders are vehement about it.  Some disagree.  Everyone seems to get that we need to fix our debt problem by reducing government spending on something. But what?

For those who are extremists about cutting government spending on Medicare, consider this: we taxpayers are getting ripped off by the Medicare program.  To me, the solution is not in cutting how much we pay doctors and other providers of healthcare.  It’s about enforcing the protections that exist to stop fraud.  

We can’t protect ourselves against fraud without spending money to do it.  It’s rather like law enforcement.  You don’t reduce crime rates by cutting out police officer jobs.  With state budget cuts, we tried that, remember?  Don’t know about you, but crime rates rose right away when that took place in my area.

Consider the Office of the Inspector General’s report, issued this month, revealing that skilled nursing facilities (SNFs) committed widespread fraud, or errors, to the tune of $1.5 billion worth of inappropriate Medicare payments in 2009. That doesn’t even count how much Medicaid fraud is also included in those same claims, but it’s likely that Medicaid picked up part of the tab for a significant proportion of them.

The OIG’s report made six specific recommendations to the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS), the entity which is responsible for overseeing these programs.  CMS agreed with all of the recommendations.  OK, here’s the rub.

If CMS is going to expand review of SNF claims, how will it do that without more inspectors and improving how it does inspections?  Knowledgeable and trained inspectors go through millions of claims, comparing the data against past history, averages, and other digital information that will alert them to unusual activity in billing.  Clearly that takes person power.  That means contractors at work.

Every single recommendation the OIG made will likely require more contractors to do more, not just more efficiency in the existing workers, to effectively carry out.  If we had enough inspectors to adequately monitor the claims billing activity in nursing homes, I seriously doubt that we would have a $1.5 billion problem there.  The overall amount Medicare paid out in SNF services in 2012 was $32.2 billion.  That needs a lot of monitoring.  We can’t fix fraud by cutting benefits to the elder and disabled people who need them.

CMS uses  Medicare Administrative Contractors, and Recovery Audit Contractors among others, to safeguard the program’s billing.  Who thinks we need to cut out those contractors to reduce fraud?

We also need to prosecute the fraudulent billers in these facilities. In 2012, CMS reduced payments to SNFs by approximately $3.9 billion.   As skilled nursing facility reimbursements have decreased from either Medicaid or Medicare, they’ve found a handy way to make up for the diminished revenue:  bill for things that don’t actually happen.  Add billing for some therapy visits that didn’t take place.  Make the therapy continue with the older person, even if it isn’t doing a bit of good anymore, just to get the revenue.

OIG study found that the standardized method SNFs use to rate the resident’s condition and how serious is the need for care was misreported for 47% of all claims.  The more seriously the SNF rates the resident, the more money it gets each day. We can’t make these analyses and ferret out the misreporting without investing in the process.

These are complicated analyses.  It takes a degree of skill to derive useful data from millions of Medicare claims. No one can put this on autopilot and get the information we need to stop the ripoff.  We need to beef up and increase efficiency in the way we inspect billing, audit SNFs and prosecute violators.  Some of them will still get away with fraud, there is no doubt, but we can at least aim for a major reduction in the amount of it.

The way I see it, we need to put financial resources into addressing Medicare fraud.  Investing in whatever we need, whether it is efficiency experts, better computer monitoring programs or devising programs to increase the effectiveness of existing inspection methods, we need to do it.  If it saves us any part of the billion and half dollars we wasted in 2009 it will surely be worth it.  When it comes to cutting government spending on healthcare, we don’t want to be penny wise and pound foolish.

And for those so eager and insistent on slashing benefits to the frail elders on both Medicare and Medicaid who desperately need the help, I challenge you to tell us what the alternative is for someone 90 years old with complex medical issues who lives on Social Security.  How are they to get care? Some have no family. Some have a spouse as old as they are and almost as frail.  Some have incompetent family who would neglect them.  There is nothing we have to care for these people other than public benefits.  I have personally taken care of some of them myself in my nursing days.  Gets me rabid on the subject, I’m afraid. Do tell us what other options besides Medicare and Medicaid they have to receive basic and decent care. What, exactly is the plan for cutting these benefits to the elderly and disabled poor?  ”Job creators,” I await your answer.

Until next time,

Carolyn Rosenblatt,

AgingParents.com

Sometimes, there’s just no substitute for a face to face visit.  Adult children may be getting a wake-up call this season when  you visit aging parents.  Little things you can’t learn in a phone call can come to light.

Their health may be a concern because you see visible changes on your visit, such as weight loss or the appearance of neglect.  Their cognitive skills may be a worry because you notice that they are having trouble tracking the conversation.  Or the memory loss you chalked up to “just getting old” is now a significant problem.  Sometimes, they just look frail.

What to do?

My colleague who markets for a large assisted living facility says inquiries and visits to see the place are way up at this time of year.  No wonder.  Adult children who live out of their parents’ area want to know what to do if there is a “next step” needed. That makes sense.   The problem with that is, you’ll likely face parental resistance.  They don’t like change and especially don’t like the idea of giving up the family home.  Approaching the subject requires finesse and respect.  Get professional advice if this entire area overwhelms you.  If you plan what to say and when to say it, you will do better than moving ahead without thinking too much about it.

A visit to your parents during this time of year is an opportunity.  If you don’t see them every day, use the visit as a reason to take stock.  Take your cues from what you see to take action. Here are five essentials you need to know.

1.  Do they have legal documents, such as a durable power of attorney for finances, and a health care directive (“living will’?).  If they dont’ have them, perhaps you can help get them going. One can prepare them without an attorney if you are comfortable with this, and the documents themselves are free.  One day, you may be very glad you did get these in order .  If your parents do have them, learn where they are stored.  It can help to get a copy for yourself, especially if you are named as the “agent” on one or both of these documents.

2. Are there any plans for managing at home with help if they need it?  If grocery shopping, cooking, or bathing is getting difficult, it’s time to consider who could help and how to arrange for help at home.  How to finance the help must be discussed.

3.   If you are worried about their isolation being at home without help and without social contacts check out suitable alternative living situations.  Do your research and visit a few prospects.  It may get the conversation going about necessary change.

4.  If paying bills on time and keeping track of finances is an issue, find out if your parent is willing to accept your help with managing the money.  Offer to take over the responsibility.  Perhaps you can get your parent’s permission to open an online account and automate the bill paying task with your oversight or help.

5.  Learn what to do if a health emergency arises.  You’ll need to keep a record of your parents doctors, medications, diagnoses, and day to day health management.  This can save you from panic when the time comes.  It’s just about inevitable with aging parents that some health crisis is going to come up sooner or later.  And this is where the discussion needs to happen about end of life wishes.  Prepare yourself by being sure of what your parents want with the legal document (#1, above) you will need.

Holidays can be so busy, it may be easier to just overlook any danger signs you see with aging parents.  Here’s hoping you won’t overlook anything.  Take a deep breath, prepare yourself to face these responsibilities and lead the way.  As your parents continue to age, you will feel much greater confidence when you are prepared.  And as I tell my husband, the work of being prepared good modeling for our own kids.  I want them to have it easy and know just what to do when it’s our turn to be the aging and maybe frail parents.  According to our 20-something kids, we’re already the aging parents!

Until next time,

Carolyn Rosenblatt

AgingParents.com

Working people frequently ask retired people what
they do to make their days interesting.
Well, for example, the other day, Judith my wife and I went into town and visited a shop.

When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.

We went up to him and I said, ‘Come on, man,
how about giving a senior citizen a break?’
He ignored us and continued writing the ticket.
I called him an a–hole . He glared at me and started
writing another ticket for having worn-out tires.

So Judith called him a s–t head. He finished the
second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.
Then he started writing more tickets.
This went on for about 20 minutes.
The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Just then our bus arrived, and we got on it
and went home.

We try to have a little fun each day now that we’re retired.

It’s important at our age.

Have you heard one of these true stories recently?

A son ripped off his mother’s equity in her home to chase an investment scheme for himself that failed.
Two ruthless swindlers were arrested in New York for tricking an elderly woman out of her multi-milliion-dollar property in Harlem she had owned for over 40 years.
A home care worker bilked a frail elder out of her life’s savings of $350,000.
These shockers keep coming up. Family members do it.   Salesmen touting unsuitable annuities do it.  Realtors collude with thieves and they do it.   Even lawyers do it.  They prey on unsuspecting or impaired elders to rip them off.
Financial elder abuse is a problem all across the world and it’s growing.  We need to be aware.
My mother in law, Alice, is 90 and still very sharp.  She would be hard to fool, but I know the right thief could probably do some harm if we weren’t watching closely all that goes on financially.  At least she has the good sense to question something that sounds too good to be true.  Here’s an example.
She got a legitimate looking check in the mail for $3800, with a congratulatory letter advising that she was the second place winner of a sweepstakes in Canada. She does play various sweepstakes. All she had to do, of course, was to deposit it and “pay the taxes” on her “winnings”.  She was advised to contact her “claims agent”.  No doubt, that professional thief would have done a great job convincing someone unsuspecting to deposit the check and send “taxes”.  Of course usually the check is rubber and the money is gone before the elder finds out that the check has bounced.
Classic scam.  Alice called the number and said, “How do I know you’re legitimate?’  The thief told her if she was suspicious, she should hang up.  She did. She then called my husband, Dr. Mikol Davis, who did an internet search for the phony address and told her she had just thwarted a thief.  Alice is with it enough to question the check.  Millions of seniors with any cognitive impairment are not so able to question things like this.
What we know from research into Alzheimer’s Disease is that one’s judgment about financial transactions may be the first thing to become impaired when the disease is in the earliest stages.  “Mild cognitive impairment” as doctors may call it, is not so mild when you think about the financial damage that can result.  And the elder with this early warning sign of dementia may be living independently, paying taxes on time and otherwise appearing socially normal. For a time.
Professional thieves have certainly studied what makes elders vulnerable.  They buy names of people who have entered contests like sweepstakes, and troll for the isolated and lonely ones who will talk to someone on the phone.  The sweepstakes officials get paid for selling the lists and no one cares what the buyer does with them.
Elders are truly sitting ducks, easy prey.  Isolation, confusion, forgetfulness, and fears about running out of money can all drive the susceptibility to entering into a “deal” with a clever scammer.
If you have an aging parent or loved one with any form of mild cognitive impairment, early dementia or other disease that affects thinking and judgment, here are seven basic things family can do to reduce the risks of ripoff.

1.  Check in often. If your aging parent lives alone this is crucial.  One of my clients at AgingParents.com emails her dad every day to check in. Others call every day or close to it.  Aging parents may not think they need this but they do.

2.  Ask to be a co-signer on the main bank account in case of emergency.  Some aging parents will agree and some will resist, but ask regardless.  It will allow you to do online monitoring of the account activity.  A “new friend” who gets money from them is a huge red flag.

3.  Have your parent sign a Durable Power of Attorney appointing a competent and ethical agent, which could be you, a sibling or trusted other.  If cognitive decline happens, the agent can at least get the money out of the account and put into another safer one that the impaired elder can’t access. This is one way to stop the thieves who are looking for impaired elders.  Nothing in the account, no gain for them.

4.  Suggest having your parent use a licensed fiduciary to handle money if they don’t want you to do it.    If there are issues of not trusting you, an objective professional can protect them from abuse. You might do research to find a reputable one for them.  This is also a safe bet for elders you know with no adult kids.

5.  Provide and encourage parents’ connection to others. Think of isolation and loneliness as two big risk factors in why elders get financially abused.  If you can provide encouragement for them to get involved in activities, it will make them less likely to want to talk to a smooth, slick “friendly” con artist on the phone.

6.  Monitor who comes into your parents’ home regularly.  Even the most trusted housekeeper, gardener, caregiver or bookkeeper can be tempted beyond reason when their own financial circumstances change for the worse.  Your parents are all the more at risk when they trust the familiar person, who can use trust to exploit them.

7.   Do background checks on any home care helpers who are hired to work for Mom or Dad.  The cost is modest, and you can find out a lot:  bankruptcies, poor driving records, and of course, criminal convictions and civil cases. Licensed home care agencies may do background checks, but ask to be sure.

The ripoff artists out there are both clever and relentless, but we can stop many of their opportunities.  Please don’t take your aging parents’ financial judgment for granted.  It can erode almost without notice, even in the brightest and most accomplished elders.
Until next time,
Carolyn Rosenblatt and Mikol Davis
AgingParents.com

****P.S.  We are always here to help you get through the challenges of aging.
Please let us help you help the ones you love. We are offering a free strategy session to our readers, just click HERE.

Dr. Mikol, thank you very much for posting this truly inspiring story illustrating both immense human tragedy but also extraordinary strength and perseverance. Most of all, it communicates the overreaching power of unconditional love, regard, respect, and positive adaptation.

Carolyn Rosenblatt sucessfully completes her 4th Triathalon, now 64 years young from AgingParents.com on Vimeo.

Aging Parent Crisis – How To Cope

Aging parents are living longer than ever and it creates a new need for their adult children: you have to know what to do with the many crises that come up. As our aging parents reach their 80′s and 90′s or beyond, we are going to be faced with their issues. They will likely involve declining health, legal matters and financial problems. Sometimes people just outlive their assets and a crisis is created.
At other times, a fall or sudden health problem brings us into the picture.

Adult children often find themselves unprepared for these crisis situations. Their parents may have been unable to even face the possibility of an emergency or the adult children don’t like to think about it and avoid planning because it is scary. Either way, you end up with no planning and no information and it makes a difficult situation even worse.

We would like to help.

The concept of preparing for an aging parent crisis or emergency is not discussed very much, but we think everyone will do better if you can plan for it. If crises and aging parents weren’t inevitable, we wouldn’t need this. But we all know we have to face trouble sooner or later. Crises are part of life. The likelihood that you, personally, will need to handle a crisis with your aging parent rises with each passing year of their lives. We know this firsthand. Mikol’s mom, Alice is turning 90 and we have already experienced several crisis situations with her.

The price of having to deal with your aging parent in trouble when you have no idea what to do is a heavy burden on you. Guilt, panic and feeling helpless are some of the consequences. If you could avoid those feelings with a small amount of careful thought and a plan, wouldn’t you do it?

We want to make it easy for you, so we have created a free half hour webinar, Parent Crises – How To Cope.

Our object in doing the webinar is to help you understand what you are going to need in a crisis, how to get the information, what to do with it when you get it and how to make decisions at a time of heavy stress.

For those who want to take this learning to the next level, we will also offer a more formal and detailed seminar at a later date for hands-on crisis planning with tools we created especially for you. We will provide them at that seminar.

Until next time,
Dr. Mikol Davis
Carolyn Rosenblatt
AgingParents.com

The Scary Trend Of Boomer Addiction

In the psychedelic ’60′s, it seemed everyone was “turning on”.  No one worried about using marijuana or other drugs, as it seemed everyone was doing it.
Now, many those who came of age in that era are facing a real and rising problem of substance abuse.  How big of a problem is this?
The National Institutes of Health became so concerned about the increasing numbers of boomer addicts that it issued a consumer alert this year, its first, on prescription and illicit drug abuse signs and dangers on its website NIHSeniorHealth.gov.
Boomers are visiting emergency rooms in record numbers for reactions to cocaine, heroin and marijuana.  Some experts blame the pressures of this stage of life.  Juan Harris is the clinical director f a boomer treatment unit at the Hanley Center, an addiction recovery center in Palm Beach, Fla.  As reported by ABC News, Harris cites “divorce, loss of a job, loss of health, a lot of grief and loss issues” as factors that lead to boomer addiction.  According to the news report, Harris finds that older drug users are motivated to break their habit and have a good success rate with treatment.
Besides the illicit drugs, we have another problem with dependency and overuse of legal prescription medications.The average man over 50 takes four prescription drugs.  Boomers are frequently using anti-anxiety drugs, anti-depressants,and  prescription pain medications all of which can lead to dependency and addiction.
It’s even more problematic for boomers to be addicted to these medications than it is for a younger person. Boomers don’t have the metabolism we did in our 20′s.  We can’t get the drug processed out of our systems as fast as we did at a younger age.  The same dose a younger person takes can have a much more long-term and potentially dangerous effect on a person in her 50′s.
Even scarier, the necessary prescription medications boomers take to control cholesterol and high blood pressure can be disrupted by the use of marijuana or other illegal substances.  Age related chronic conditions like heart disease and diabetes are worsened by long term substance abuse.  There is a higher likelihood of a fatal outcome for an addicted senior.
What can we do about this?
If the experts tell us that treatment is often successful with older drug users, it makes sense to get treatment.  It also makes sense to help a loved one with a substance abuse problem find and get treatment if that loved one is willing. Yes, that’s a big “if”. There are boomer-specific addiction treatment centers.  Perhaps the first step is to do some research and find out what treatment is available for someone you care about.
A good support system, a qualified treatment center, and the willingness to work on overcoming chemical dependency can lead to success.  If drug dependency is happening to someone you love, speak up.  You might be a vital encouragement and help to that person in getting free from the abuse.
Until next time,

Carolyn Rosenblatt

AgingParents.com

 

All drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name.

Example, the trade name is Tylenol and its generic name is Acetaminophen… Aleve is also called Naproxen.

Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra.

After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin.

Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer..

It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.

Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of ‘cocktails’, ‘highballs’ and just a good old-fashioned ‘stiff drink’.

Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer’s research.

This means that by 2020, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Until next time,

AgingParents.com

A Letter from “Mom and Dad”…
My child,
When I get old, I hope you understand ‘n have patience with me
In case I break the plate, or spill soup on the table because I’m losing my eyesight,
I hope you don’t yell at me.
Older people are sensitive, always having self pity when you yell.
When my hearing gets worse ‘n I can’t
hear what you’re saying, I hope you
don’t call me ‘Deaf!’
Please repeat what you said or write it
down.
I’m sorry, my child.
I’m getting older.
When my knees get weaker, I hope you have the patience to help me get up.
Like how I used to help you while you
were little, learning how to walk. Please bear with me, when I keep
repeating myself like a broken record, I hope you just keep listening to me.
Please don’t make fun of me, or get sick of listening to me.
Do you remember when you were little ‘n you wanted a ballon?
You repeated yourself over ‘n over until you get what you wanted.
Please also pardon my smell. I smell like an old person.
Please don’t force me to shower.
My body is weak.
Old people get sick easily when they’re
cold. I hope I don’t gross you out.
Do you remember when you were little? I
used to chase you around because you
didn’t want to shower.
I hope you can be patient with me when
I’m always cranky. It’s all part of getting
old. You’ll understand when you’re older.
‘n if you have spare time, I hope we can
talk even for a few minutes.
I’m always all by myself all the time, ‘n
have no one to talk to.
I know you’re busy with work. Even if you’re not interested in my
stories, please have time for me. Do you remember when you were little? I
used to listen to your stories about your
teddy bear.
When the time comes, ‘n I get ill ‘n
bedridden, I hope you have the patience
to take care of me. I’m sorry if I accidentally wet the bed or
make a mess.
I hope you have the patience to take
care of me during the last few moments
of my life.
I’m not going to last much longer, anyway.
When the time of my death comes, I
hope you hold my hand ‘n give me
strength to face death. ‘n don’t worry..
When I finally meet our creator, I will
whisper in his ear to bless you. Because
you loved your Mom ‘n Dad.

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio .

“To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I’ve ever written.My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short enjoy it.

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.

5.Don’t buy stuff you don’t need.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for things that matter.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye But don’t worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It’s never too late to be happy. But its all up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?’

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive but dont forget.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have not what you need.

42. The best is yet to come…

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.”

Do you ever look in the mirror and wonder who that person is with the crow’s feet?
And how about the body? What happened to your muscles, you may wonder. Am I getting “old”??  I wonder about these things all the time.
I did have an uplifting experience, though, with all that, considering what it means to age and how to do this better than our mothers did.
I am part of an all women’s group turning out for an athletic event called a triathlon.  You swim, then bike, then run.  Yes, I’ve been training for this stuff, along with a team of like-minded gals of all ages. I’m the oldest person in the group, at 64.  We do have some strong 50-somethings and then there’s my amazing teammate, Rachel, at 62.  Our coach, Michelle Dodd at Flower Power Sports, is 53,  still a competitor in 3 sports and our inspiring guide.

It’s like this:  you want to do something to get control over that slide they call the aging process.  We can’t stop it, but we surely can slow the thing down.  Yes, it’s a lot of work. But, I can testify, it’s worth it.
So here we are at the Mermaid Triathlon in Capitola, CA on a gorgeous fall morning, starting at dawn.  You check in and strap a timing chip  on your ankle.  They mark your shoulder with your number and then your calf, believe it or not, with your age!  Yes, you get to see how many 20-somethings are passing you up, or how many women and what age you are passing up on the bike or the run.  There are two kinds of races here. This is called a sprint, which is the shorter distance.  It doesn’t feel short, believe me.

The participants are grouped into age waves. Oh, great, the age wave I’m in is “45 and up”. That means anyone in it could be almost 15 years younger.  Hmm.  Good thing I’m in this to finish, and not for speed.  Most women here seem to be in their 30′s and 40′s.  They look it.  Every shape and size is heading for the beach, where we start our swim leg by diving into the waves.  The full wetsuit helps a lot.  It’s ironclad spanx with attitude and it instantly makes all sagging skin and cellulite disappear.
If you can find your rhythm in the water, you don’t feel old doing this. It’s sort of hypnotic swimming in the ocean.

I’m keeping a steady pace, albeit a  slow one.  I finally make it back to shore and I’m not dead yet. Good. Head uphill a few blocks to the transition area where my bike is waiting.  I lose my timing chip in peeling off my wetsuit.  I don’t want to waste energy searching for it and I don’t care about time anyway.  It’s about finishing.  Onto the bike.  Now I think I really might die. Steep hills keep looming before me.
An interesting perspective on aging is grinding up a steep hill where lots of younger folks whose age you can plainly read on their calves are dropping like flies and walking bikes up the hill.  I’m panting, but still riding.  Of course, the racers are passing me, but so what?  I’m still on two wheels, dammit.  I look for anyone with “64″ displayed on the leg.  I see no one.
12 miles later, I’m back in the transition area, changing into my running shoes. Or, more accurately, my run-walk shoes. I do not run up the long incline.   I “wogged” it, a combo of a walk/jog.  As I passed a 62 year old, she said, “We’re in this for fun, not to win”.  I said, “for sure, sister”. I could power walk faster than she could. I’m a competitive wogger all right.  Meanwhile, my teammate Rachel is blazing past me running for the finish line. She’s awesome.  We are re-defining what our 60′s look like. So is every Boomer aged woman out here. There is a respectable number of 50-somethings, too, doing quite well.  It’s inspiring.
As we head back to the beach,

I look for the “hard packed sand” we were supposed to run on to the finish.  The tide has come in. What’s left is soft sand.  Unless you want to run in the lapping tide.  Wet or slow, take your pick. I pick slow.  Running in soft sand is a lot of work, trust me if you’ve never tried it.  By this time, I am in an altered state of consciousness. Either that or I’ve lost my mind along the course. I am totally exhausted, but it’s a good kind of tired.  We all earned it.
The good news is, I’m not last, and by a good measure. I’m ok.  I saw a few 62 year olds here, and a lot of other brave women, taking a risk, challenging their bodies and spirits to do what is difficult.  Every one of us Boomers felt alive, energized by the accomplishment of defying a stereotype of being middle aged.

If you’re thinking, “so what, I’d never do that”, it’s perfectly fine.  Just do something and avoid using your age as an excuse for not trying.
My message is to pick something that challenges you physically, whatever it may be, and set your mind to doing it.  If you’re a couch potato, try a 10 minute walk.  You’ll feel better about your own aging if you do. If you already walk, ramp it up and do something a little harder.  And so on.  All I can say is, yielding to age-related loss of mobility is not appealing and we can nearly all do something to prevent it.  I once met a paraplegic who worked out from his wheelchair on the hand pedaled machine at my gym.  How’s that for no excuses inspiration?
My fellow Mermaid  older athletes are smiling, crow’s feet and all. We aren’t wearing makeup. We’re wearing sweat. Lots of folks are carrying a few extra pounds or a lot of them.  We’re not models or stars. We’re a bunch of determined ladies. We don’t especially feel young, but we feel inspirited, and proud.

I wish for you the same feeling.
Until next time,
Carolyn L. Rosenblatt

Carolyn and Mikol here.

Carolyn speaking:

We are away from home and are surrounded at this moment by grey or white haired people.

Some look to be aging well. Others not. What’s the difference? We are having a little getaway in beautiful Lake Tahoe with perfect weather, blue skies and breathtaking scenery.

I watch some folks apparently having fun and others looking glum while staring out into space. Some of them are smiling as we pass by. I’ve talked to a number of these folks. I’m on a secret research mission to find out more about how to age well. I’ll be an official senior citizen on my next birthday. Gotta find out! I observe. I ask a few questions. I take note.

What the happy folks are doing that others aren’t includes participating in life here. You see them in the water, either a pool or the cold lake. They are walking or exploring. They’re in a hot tub relaxing. They’re going out for a show. They may be reading a book and chatting occasionally with the person next to them.

The unhappy ones are in front of the TV. Can you imagine? Daytime TV watching in a place like this? Missing it all by staying inside doesn’t seem to make them happy. The happy folks are engaging in conversation. This is a small resort and it’s easy to get to know anyone. People are friendly but you have to reach out a little to connect to them. That seems to be another quality of the happier ones: they make an effort to get to know others, even if in a casual way.

We are social animals by nature. Some need social contact more than others. The ones who are having the most fun, it seems, are making more social contacts. The unhappy ones seem to keep entirely to themselves. I’m sure that’s okay, and maybe they just need some quiet. But they don’t look as if they are laughing at any jokes. They don’t seem to be finding some humor in the events of the day. If humor helps us age well, it seems that we have to extend ourselves to find it. Hmm. I’m definitely going to that comedy show down the road tonight.

Aging well, the literature on aging tells us, involves healthy habits, like exercise. I see a lot of people strolling along the beach or walking into town or going along the many walking paths around here. It’s gentle exercise. They look relaxed and I see pleasant expressions. And those unhappy ones say they’re bored. But they rarely leave their condos. Seems pretty obvious that getting out and moving around helps the happier ones enjoy the moment. I was in a short conversation with middle aged guy who said he doesn’t like anything here. His wife, on the other hand is having a great time. (How do they stay married??).

What’s different between them is that she is willing to try new things and he isn’t. He reports staying inside, taking a business call and not finding anything he can enjoy. He is seemingly bent on being miserable. He can’t wait to leave. She wants it to last. She has the positive attitude. He doesn’t. I wonder which one will age better than the other one?

So, based on unscientific research and no particular data besides people watching, here in a nutshell are the top five things the happier people aging well are doing that the others aren’t.

1. Find a positive attitude wherever you are. It is an intentional state of being.

2. Get outside when the weather is good. Banish TV from your daytime.

3. Move around. Walk, stroll, get out and check out the surroundings, even familiar surroundings.

4. Seek humor and laughter in your life. You may have to reach out for it, but make it a plan.

5. Connect with other people. Participate in the life around you and get to know someone new.

New experiences help breathe vitality into your life, and this often leads to feelings of joy. The guy who wasn’t having fun didn’t want to try anything. One of the benefits of doing novel things is that the neural pathways in the brain are reconfigured. New connections are made, which makes you more able to think and act in new ways. I think he was stuck in what he is used to doing and having fun in a resort isn’t one of them. You may wonder what these 5 things have to directly with aging.

All I can say is that people who are smiling and who have a great attitude look a whole lot better than the ones who don’t and I want to look like the happier ones. It seems that if we set out to live in a positive way we age that way too.

Until next time,

Carolyn Rosenblatt and Mikol Davis, AgingParents.com

PS. If the decision-making is making you crazy and you don’t know where to turn, consider getting a free complimentary strategy session at AgingParents.com. It’s a start. If you are in need of information about your own aging loved ones or are in the aging care field, learn more in our AgingParent.com webinars. In an upcoming series, we will address the problems of dealing with emergencies, and what you need to be ready.

AgingParents.com,

930 Irwin Street, Suite 215, San Rafael, CA 94901, USA

We are really excited about our next webinar,

How to Blast Your Burden With Aging Parents:

a free 37 minute webinar from AgingParents.com,
followed by a question and answer session.

Join us for an interesting and quick lesson where we will help you learn how to take control NOW before your aging parents become your burden.

   * Learn how to stop your parents from becoming a burden on you by taking positive steps before things spin out of control.

   * Learn how to take charge of the paperwork and prepare for your job of helping your aging loved ones.
   * Learn the basic legal things everyone needs to know to handle aging parents’ loss of independence.
This webinar is presented by Dr. Mikol Davis and Carolyn Rosenblatt, RN, Attorney.
This free webinar is available on demand just sign up now.

Sign up here!

We look forward to seeing you and answering your questions about this important subject!

Wishing you the best, Carolyn and Mikol

AgingParents.com

We look forward to seeing you at our webinar.

Dr Mikol Davis & Carolyn Rosenblatt

Your aging parent seems ok one day. The next day, he can’t find his way out the front door. Is he really losing it? Or is it just a temporary thing?

What we call “the grey zone” is that place between being competent and being incompetent for making decisions that is part of cognitive decline. The crazy-making part of it is that it is so unpredictable. The impairment that begins to affect the brain of a person with dementia very early in the process may be both hidden and subtle. But it’s real. And it can be dangerous.

Research tells us that with Alzheimer’s, the judgment needed for financial decisions is impaired even at the beginning of the disease, though you might not see it. The elder may look and feel fine. Perhaps he or she is completely appropriate socially. The problem is, he can’t see a scam coming. He can’t tell when something smells fishy about a proposal. She doesn’t know a ripoff from a good thing. This difficulty causes two things to happen quite often.

First, the family may argue and disagree that anything is wrong with the parent. He’s always been in charge. She always paid the bills on time. The insidious reach of the disease robs the parent of the necessary ability to handle money safely and the family doesn’t believe it or can’t understand how it works. No one wants to make a change in any way and they get stuck in their positions opposing each other.

Second, the elder with early cognitive impairment is very vulnerable to financial abuse from family, from unscrupulous financial professionals, from scam artists or from caregivers. The problem of financial elder abuse costs elders $2.9B a year and it is growing.

What can we do about this?

One useful thing is to understand that an elder, even in the early stages of cognitive decline needs to be making plans to allow others to take over the handling of financial matters. And then the authority needs to change. It is not smart to wait until some disaster happens or all the money in the bank disappears before transferring power over finances to another responsible person.

Next, one can make use of objective data to measure the extent of impairment. Get some testing done by a qualified psychologist or neuropsychologist. What will show up on psychological testing is often quite different from family’s casual impression of how Mom was at lunch last week. She seemed fine. Testing compares how Mom is doing with how others in Mom’s age group compare in terms of memory, ability to understand concepts, judgment and other functions. The data can help everyone make better decisions about what Mom needs.

Finally, we encourage using family meetings with a neutral person, a mediator, to keep family warfare from interfering with safe decisions about aging parents. The investment of time and resources into this step can save untold aggravation and can prevent the fighting from

escalating all the way to the courthouse.

We continue to offer you our help in raising the bar in family relationships.

Carolyn Rosenblatt, R.N., Elder Law Attorney & Mediator

AgingParents.com

“She only drives to the store”.