In my own area, a home care worker bilked a frail elder out of her life’s savings of $350,000.  Family members do it.  Insurance products salesmen touting unsuitable annuities do it.  Realtors persuade elders to sell when it’s a very bad idea to do it.  Even lawyers do it.  They prey on unsuspecting or impaired elders to rip them off.

Financial elder abuse is a problem all across the world and it’s growing.  Is a $2.6B problem big enough to get more attention?

My mother in law, Alice, is 89 and still very sharp.  She would be hard to fool, but I know the right thief could probably do some harm if we weren’t watching closely all that goes on financially.  At least she has the good sense to question something that sounds too good to be true.  Here’s an example.

She got a check in the mail for $3800, perfectly legitimate looking, advising that she was the second place winner of a sweepstakes in Canada. She does play various sweepstakes. It came with a letter, complete with address and phone number.  All she had to do, of course, was to deposit it and “pay the taxes” on her “winnings”.  She was advised to contact her “claims agent”.  No doubt, that professional thief would have done a great job convincing someone unsuspecting to deposit the check and send “taxes”.  Of course the check is rubber and the money is gone before the elder finds out that it has bounced.

Classic scam.  Alice called the number and said, “How do I know you’re legitimate?’  The thief told her if she was suspicious, she should hang up.  She did. She then called my husband, Mikol, who looked up the phony address and told her she had just thwarted a thief.  Alice is with it enough to question the check.  Millions of seniors who have any cognitive impairment are not so able to question things like this.

What we know from research into Alzheimer’s Disease, which is a common cause of cognitive decline, is that one’s judgment about financial transactions may be the first thing to become impaired when the disease is in the earliest stages.  “Mild cognitive impairment” as doctors may call it, is not so mild when you think about the financial damage that can result.  And the elder with this early warning sign of dementia may be living independently, paying taxes on time and otherwise appearing socially normal. For a time.

Professional thieves have certainly studied what makes elders vulnerable.  They buy names of people who have entered contests like sweepstakes, and undoubtedly troll for the isolated and lonely ones who want to talk to someone on the phone.  The sweepstakes officials get the fee for selling the lists and no one cares what the buyer does with them.

Vulnerable elders are truly sitting ducks, easy prey.  Isolation, confusion, forgetfulness, and fears about running out of money can all drive the susceptibility to entering into a “deal” with a clever scammer.

If you have an aging parent or loved one with any form of mild cognitive impairment, early dementia or other disease that affects thinking and judgment, here are seven basic things family can do to reduce the risks of ripoff.

1.  Check in often. If your aging parent lives alone this is crucial.  One of my clients at AgingParents.com emails her dad every day to check in. Others call every day or close to it.  They may not think they need this but they do.

2.  Ask to be a co-signer on the main bank account in case of emergency.  Some aging parents will agree and some will resist but ask regardless.  It will allow you to do online monitoring of the account activity.  A “new friend” who gets money from them is a huge red flag.

3.  Have your parent sign a Durable Power of Attorney appointing a competent and ethical agent, which could be you, a sibling or trusted other.  If cognitive decline happens, the agent can at least get the money out of the account and put into another safer one that the impaired elder can’t access. This is one way to stop the thieves who are looking for impaired elders.  Nothing in the account, no gain for them.

4.  Suggest having your parent use a licensed fiduciary to handle money if they don’t want you to do it.    If there are issues of not trusting you, an objective professional can protect them from abuse. You might do research to find a reputable one for them.

5.  Provide and encourage parents’ connection to others. Think of isolation and loneliness as two big factors in why elders get financially abused.  If you can provide encouragement for them to get involved in activities, it will make them less likely to want to talk to a smooth, slick “friendly” con artist on the phone.

6.  Monitor who comes into your parents’ home regularly.  Even the most trusted housekeeper, gardener, caregiver or bookkeeper can be tempted beyond reason when their own financial circumstances change for the worse.  Your parents are all the more at risk when they trust the familiar person, who can use trust to exploit unsuspecting parents.

7.   Do background checks on any home care helpers who are hired to work for Mom or Dad.  The cost is modest, and you can find out a lot:  bankruptcies, poor driving records, and of course, criminal convictions and civil cases.

Hello, again.  Carolyn and Mikol here.

Are holiday family gatherings stressing you out?
Learn some proven ways to combat stress from Carolyn and Mikol, psychologist, nurse-lawyer team.

Webinar on Managing Family Conflict

Our free, 30 minute webinar is packed with solid advice to help you prevent that headache you always get this time of year.

Whether it’s all the work, specific people or your aging parents that get to you most, we’ve got some strategies to help you handle it better than ever before.

Make this season one you go through in a calmer, smarter way because you have a plan in mind.  Learn it now-you’ll be glad you did.

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If this is a problem you are having, remember that AgingParents.com is there to lend you a hand.  A brief strategy session to size up your problem is complimentary. Click HERE

May you all enjoy respite from the hectic days ahead and find some time to care for yourself.

Best to you,

Carolyn and Mikol

AgingParents.com

Hello, again.  Carolyn and Mikol here.  Hope all of you had a chance to enjoy your Thanksgiving and that the rest of your holidays go well.
We’re looking forward to spending some time with Mikol’s Mom, Alice,  over the holidays.  She just got back from a cruise to Hawaii with Mikol’s sister.  Spry 89 year old, she is!  She’ll be here in two weeks

Meanwhile, we wanted to share a story with you about a real and shocking situation.
Our client’s 88 year old Dad was arrested for getting upset during the night and hitting his wife, 85.

She called the police

The Mom was wandering about and babbling and kept waking up Dad.  Whether he lost it because he, himself has dementia is not clear. The police chose not to put him in jail, but sent him to a residential hotel.
His daughters had no power of attorney, there was no trustee and no release for them to consult with a doctor about him.  Both Dad and Mom refused to sign any legal papers whatsoever.  Now that the crisis hit, something had to be done.

With our help, Dad was finally persuaded to sign a Durable Power of Attorney and release of information for the doctor, and a health care directive. His older daughter can finally take over and manage his life now.  He won’t be allowed to go home.  He’s been charged with battery and elder abuse.

We have a lot of work ahead.  Mom has still not signed anything.  She’s alone and forgot to turn off the stove last week. She almost started a fire.  She’s an entirely different problem.  Imagine the burden on her kids.

We’re sharing this with you because so many of you have difficult aging loved ones or you know someone who does.   If they won’t plan and won’t even talk about it, it’s time to reach out and get some help.

From this case, we see that caring professionals in your life can turn the tide of feeling helpless and lost.  One parent in this nightmare can now be assessed, managed and kept safe!  We’re working on the other one.
If this is a problem you are having, remember that AgingParents.com is there to lend you a hand with stubborn parents.  A brief strategy session to size up your problem is complimentary. Click HERE
May you all enjoy respite from the hectic days ahead and find some time to care for yourself.

Best to you,

Carolyn and Mikol
AgingParents.com

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